Thursday, September 30, 2010

如果不開心

我明天就走

你今天一整天都不跟我說話
我都不知你氣甚麼
明明今天就你自己有問題先的

說好要旅行
這是兩個人的事
你叫我找,我已經很不爽了
要嘛就兩個人一起找然後交換意見
現在你把一切推給我
要我一個人準備好一切
自己在那裡玩game!
我只是問你
你喜歡看風景的還是怎麼樣的
你竟然用不耐煩的語氣來說“隨便啦!!”
你這是甚麼意思?
本來我不要出聲的
可是我想到我不能每一次都忍氣吞聲
才回了你一句“如果你不想去旅行,那就算了!”
你就氣到現在?
你有沒有搞錯?我欠你的啊?
我不是一定要跟你才有得旅行得咧!

我從KL下來,特地多留4天
因為你說你很想念我
還叫我不要走
這是你要陪我的方法嗎?
如果是這樣的話
我明天就走!
我留在這裡根本沒有意義
你說要帶我在馬六甲走走
你自己說你答應過我,為甚麼不相信你
說而已!我回來這麼多天,有走嗎?
你現在還要發脾氣??
跟你說話要理不理的!

可能我們之間真的差太遠了
你太自私了
你只認為自己是對的
你 說真的
很少顧慮到我的感受
都是我在遷就你
是我在寵你嗎?所以你才會這樣?
還是你沒拍拖過?
認為我在做的都是應該的?
因為我從來沒有感覺到你對我的關心
就算我生氣,你也從來不理我
都是我在找你
都是我在道歉
都是我的錯

而我每次都在顧慮你的心情
希望你快樂
是我前世欠你的嗎?
如果我說不開心
你很輕易的就說
不開心就分開咯
是這樣嗎?
不是應該兩個人一起解決問題嗎?
你要我在你身邊
是習慣還是真的愛我?
可是我越寫越覺得你只是習慣我的存在
多少次了?我每次都不跟你計較
最多氣你半天就跟你好

我已經寄了msg半個小時
你理都不理
在那邊玩賽車
一場game有這麼就嗎?
很明顯你是特地不理我的
我真的好累
我以為你跟別的男人不同
可是你是一樣的自私,一樣的大男人
算了 我很累了
你要怎麼樣就怎麼樣吧~

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

戰爭的結果

打贏了咧!!!!!
終於雨過天晴了!
放鬆了一口氣

不過很遺憾的是
班上有同學連Reassessment的機會都沒有
就直接不及格了
好可惜喔~
希望他們能加油!
幸運之神保佑他們多一點

感謝大家對我的支持
還有Bb的教導讓我一無所知
到可以面對考試
感謝神的保佑
讓我拿到好的考官
不然我想我也會打敗戰呢~

Thursday, September 23, 2010

第六戰 - Short cases 四肢癱瘓

終於考完了
全身都沒力了
腦也空空的

竟然看到Neurofibromatosis!!
天啊~~

等了好久好辛苦的list也出了~
沒我的名字
可是都沒有鬆一口氣的感覺
希望一切順利

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

第五戰 - Bed side long case 人可以死幾遍?

很慘啊~ 好想哭可是哭不出來⋯⋯
我已經不知道要如何了
好累了~
明明都是蠻簡單的
可是我沒準備到嘛!!
哪裡會想到出Measles?
我都沒有讀到pneumonia
都在準備 Thalassemia, Cerebral palsy等的topics
覺得自己好笨
明明都有讀過
卻記不得

現在只能希望老師大人大量
讓我及格!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Friday, September 10, 2010

The truth about Medical field. so F*cking depressing!

I HATE MY LIFE MORE!!!

http://pagalavan.com/education/for-future-doctors-general-misconception-of-being-a-doctor-part-1/
http://pagalavan.com/education/for-future-doctors-general-misconception-of-being-a-doctor-part-2/


For Future Doctors: General Misconception of being a doctor PART 1
Over the last few months, many budding doctors have contacted me to ask about the future prospects of doing medicine. Of course I gave them a depressing night after informing them of the current and future prospects of doctors in Malaysia. During these discussions I realise that many of these people do not understand a lot of issues surrounding the field of medicine. Thus I was obliged to write this article to wake up these people from their dream of “guaranteed” life if you were to become a doctor!
1)      Guaranteed Job and Good salary/can make money
 Many parents still believe that being a doctor guarantee their children’s future. Well, it may be so before but not in another 5-10 years time. You can read about these issues in my MMA articles column. 20 years ago we only had 3 medical schools producing about 400 doctors a year but now we have almost 30 medical schools in the country (the highest per capita population in the world). Last year alone, almost 4000 new doctors started housemanship in Ministry of Health (MOH). The number will further increase in coming years when all the medical schools start to produce their graduates. I believe it will reach a figure of 6000/year by 2015.
This is where issues arise. Even now, the MOH is struggling to place these doctors in various hospitals in the country. We have almost 30-40 houseofficers in each department now not knowing what to do every day. Their training is compromised and they are being released after that without proper training with license to kill! I may sound negative but this is the reality. Even district hospitals are being used to train houseofficers now, starting 2010. As you would have read in the papers recently of parents complaining that their child has been transferred to East Malaysia after completing housemanship, it is a known fact that the shortage of doctors at this point of time is in East Malaysia. As our MOH Director General had said, most doctors will be sent to Sabah and Sarawak from this year on wards.
What’s going to happen in the next few years? Again, my prediction is, there will be surplus of doctors by 2015. There will more bodies than post in MOH by 2015. Doctors most likely will need to queue up to be posted in government service.  You will be sent to rural and East Malaysia to serve. Any appeal will not be entertained. If you think this would not happen, please look at the nurses! 5 years ago, the government began to approve numerous nursing colleges due to shortage of nurses. Now, we have surplus of nurses without any jobs. I know of nurses who are currently working in petrol stations! BTW, the MOH is currently considering introducing common entry exams for all medical graduates. Only those who pass this exam will be given housemanship post. This will happen soon.
Furthermore there may be a pay cut for doctors when all the post are filled. One of the allowance known as critical allowance of RM 750 will be removed once all the posts are filled. Critical allowance is never a fixed allowance and is usually reviewed every 3 years. As you know, the pharmacist’s critical allowance is going to be removed if not already. 
I had one budding doctor who said that the reason she wanted to do medicine is because it is the only field where you have a guaranteed job and a starting salary of RM 6000. Well, I have talked about guaranteed job issue above but she is definitely wrong in stating that the starting salary. The starting salary of HO has gone up over the last 5 years; no doubt about it (please read my MMA article). However, the starting salary of HO currently is about RM 3500 to about RM4000 after including the on-call allowance. Remember, your salary only increases about RM 70/year. You will only reach a salary of RM 6000 after 7 years of service as a medical officer, when you are promoted to U48 according to current promotional prospect in civil service introduced end of last year! BTW, other than the difference of critical allowance, a doctor’s salary is only RM 200 more than a pharmacist in civil service!
 2)      Medical degree recognition
 If I can’t work in Malaysia, I can go to Singapore or Australia to work, right?
Again, another misconception. Many do not know that medicine is a very peculiar field and cannot be compared to any other profession. In order for you to work in another country, your degree needs to be recognised by the Medical Council of the other country. If it is not recognised, you would not be able to work there. For your information, only UKM and UM degrees are recognised in Singapore.
Almost all medical degrees from Malaysia are NOT recognised elsewhere. Malaysia Boleh mah! Only Monash University Malaysia’s medical degree is recognised by Australian Medical Council and thus you would be able to work in Australia/New Zealand. Some of the private medical colleges do twinning programmes with external universities from Ireland/UK/India etc. These may be recognised depending on which degree and where you graduate from. 
3)      Housemanship & Compulsory service
I have mentioned a little about housemanship above. As you know the housemanship has been extended to 2 years since 2008. Even though it is good for your own training but it does prolong your future postgraduate training. After Housemanship you have to undergo another 2 years of compulsory service before you decide to resign for private practise or pursue your postgraduate degree. It is during this compulsory service that you will be posted to anywhere in the country.
 Furthermore, housemanship is not an easy posting. Even though the numbers of HOs have increased tremendously over the last 2 years, it is still a very exhausting job. Many have had a mental breakdown during housemanship. I just heard of a houseman who is on psychiatric MC for the last 2 months! It seems she thought that being a doctor is just like sitting in a clinic and seeing cold cases (probably she thought she can become a GP immediately!)
4)      Hard work and post graduate training
 20-30 years ago, being an MBBS holder itself is good enough. You can easily open a clinic and become a GP and well respected by the community. But things are changing. Even GP practise is a speciality by itself in many countries (Master in Family Medicine/FRACGP etc). Malaysia is also moving towards that. Many patients are demanding and would prefer to see a specialist directly nowadays.
 Thus it is important that when you join medicine undergraduate degree, please be prepared to continue your education for another 10 years after graduation! In order for you to complete your postgraduate education, it will easily take another 10 years, assuming you pass all your exams in one try! So, don’t assume your education is only 5 years! MBBS do not mean anything now, in fact it is only considered as a diploma!
 Getting into postgraduate training is also becoming increasing difficult. The number of places for Master’s programme is very much limited in local universities. The demand is greater than supply and of course don’ forget the quota system as well! Other than MRCP (UK) – internal medicine, MRCPCH (UK) – paediatric and MRCOG - Obstetric, you have to depend on local master’s programme for your speciality. Thus, you have a very limited option. With such a big number of doctors coming into the market now, I can assure you that getting a place for post graduate education is going to be a major problem in 2-3 years time! Be prepared.
TO BE CONTINUED………………………….

For Future Doctors: General Misconception of being a doctor Part 2
My first Part of this topic attracted more than 600 people to visit my blog in a day. Today, I post my second part of my discussion for your reading.
1)      Being a GP
As I have written before in my MMA articles, the future of GPs are bleak. If you think that you just want to complete your MBBS and open up a clinic, then I think you are misinformed badly. Many GPs are suffering nowadays. Many have even closed their shops due to severe competition. GPs, not only have to compete with their fellow GPs but also with private hospitals, government clinics, pharmacy and traditional medicine sellers. The scenario has changed as I have said in Part 1. You are also strictly regulated by the Private Healthcare and Facilities Act which was implemented from 2006 onwards. Many GPs are only earning a net profit of RM 10 000 a month which is ridiculous compared to the amount of work that you are doing. Imagine that you have to work from 9am to 10pm daily including Saturdays and Sundays, especially during your early days. That’s the reason why you notice less and fewer doctors resigning from the government sector to set up their clinic. GPs are now moving from urban areas to sub-urban and rural areas to open up their practises. There may be a better market for GPs in these areas compared to town areas.
2)      Being a Consultant in a Private Hospital
Only in medicine I can earn RM 50 000/month when I work in private hospital? I had many friends and budding doctors who feel that medical specialist earns the highest in private sector compared to any other profession. Again, I would say that you are mistaken. Even though you may be right in terms of the earning capacity but what you are not aware is the fact that the private hospitals DO NOT pay us a salary!
Basically you are NOT employed by the private hospital. You are just running a clinic as a self-employed person in the hospital. Whatever you earn is the consultation/surgical fees that you are charging the patients. In fact, the hospital takes 10-15% of your consultation fee as their administrative fee. Furthermore you also need to pay a rental for the clinic space that you are renting! The rental can range from RM 4000 to RM 8000/month. Yes, if you are an interventionist/surgeon or have a lot of patients, you may earn as high as above but at the same time you can also earn very much less than expected depending on the number of patients that you see for that particular month. You may even end up earning less than RM 10 000/month at times! Again, with more and more private hospitals coming up, the competition will be greater and the income of each doctor in each hospital will definitely drop even further. Remember, if a patient’s hospital bill for an admission is RM 5000, only less than 25% of the bill is the consultation fee which belongs to you, of which the hospital will take another 10%!
Also, when you are in a private hospital you are all alone. There are no junior doctors to help you. You need to do all the procedures by yourself and must be available at all times to entertain any medical complaints from the patients (even in the middle of the night). It is not just a matter of running a clinic! So basically you can only charge a patient when you see a patient for consultation and that is your salary!
And also don’t forget, for you to reach the status of a subspecialists before going full-time private practise, it will take at least 12 years following undergraduate medical education, a total of 15-17 years !! By this time some of your fiends will be earning much more than you and driving bigger cars and going holidays all over the world. Many of my friends who went on to do IT, accountancy etc etc had become company managers and directors by the time I finish my subspeciality. They have started to enjoy their life when I was just beginning to think of earning money.
3)      TV programmes : ER, CSI, House etc
Don’t get carried away by watching TV programmes like ER, CSI and House. Things do not work the way it is shown on the TV. I had one budding doctor who said that she wants to become a forensic pathologist. I am sure she was influenced by CSI. In Malaysia, the reality is, any forensic pathologist just sits in the mortuary the whole day. They hardly go down to the scene of the crime. Furthermore, if you do attend a court case, you will be tortured by the lawyer. BTW, don’t think we have all the high-end technology in our mortuary like what you see in CSI. In Malaysia, forensic pathologist doesn’t work in a police department. You are just another specialist in a government hospital forever, as you won’t be able to go private. Malaysian law do not accept a report by a private specialist.
4)      Patient’s demand and increasing medico-legal issues
Many doctors are being sued nowadays. This happens in most developing or developed countries. Gone are the days where patients will forgive and forget. Even the government is asking all doctors in civil service to take their own indemnity insurance as the government may not be able to cope with the legal suits. The cost of insurance has gone up tremendously especially for surgeons and obstetrician. For Obstetrician, the yearly insurance stands at RM 40 000 – 50 000! So, don’t think that the public has high respect for you and thus they will not take any action against you. A small mistake can land you in court and your entire reputation will be affected, no matter how many life’s that you have saved.
I am sure I would have made a lot of you very depressed by now. Please do not do medicine for the reasons that I have mentioned above. You will regret it later. If you really have passion for medicine then by all means, go ahead. I give the same advice to all parents who seek my advice regarding medicine. But always remember, no matter how much passion you have for medicine, it is still a job for you to earn money for a living. Once you are married and have children, money will be the most important factor no matter what you think now.
The amount of money you are spending to do undergraduate medicine alone can easily be used to start-up a business! Most private medical colleges in Malaysia charges about RM50 000-90 000/year which comes to about RM 250 000 to 500 000 in total, not including accommodation and food. You can easily safe this money, do accountancy/engineering/designer etc etc and use it later to start your own business venture.  Don’t you think it is a better option? To get back the investment that you have made for medicine will take another 20 years, not including the money that you need to spend for postgraduate education!
Let me tell you, the money now is not in professional field. If you are smart and only want to earn money, please try technical studies like architect, interior designer, accountancy etc. This is where the money is! If you are good, you can easily become a manager or director of a company by the age of 35

Saturday, September 4, 2010

太好了~ 蕾蕾快到我懷裡~

他答應買蕾蕾給我咧~ 不過拿是換來的啦~本來是說香奈兒是聖誕禮物的。(就提前拿嘛~因為很喜歡就嗲他買給我 XD)不過,因為我說會買 Gran Turismo 5 給他,之後就換蕾蕾成為我的聖誕禮物 ^^V 因為價錢比較接近嘛~ 呵呵~ 好高興咧~ 要開始想給蕾蕾的名字了~ 嘻嘻~

Friday, September 3, 2010

第四戰 - MCQ Paper 2 之心如止水

為甚麼心如止水?
就放棄了嘛~
問題到不能恭維
連談論都不想了
只希望能順順利利的過關就好

南無阿彌陀佛

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

第三戰 - MCQ Paper 1拿槍自斃算了

明明都有讀到
可是竟然失憶!!
我的天啊!!
而且會做的竟然做錯!

我覺得好難啊~
為甚麼會這樣?!
T-T
真的不撞牆都不行⋯⋯